Wedding for 5
Create your own space for rituals
One of the best weddings I’ve ever been to was my son’s wedding. During Lockdown, with restrictions limiting us to a social bubble, there were 5 of us there.
The couple was the start of the show. My daughter was the celebrant. My partner and I were witnesses.
We did the wedding at home in the living room.
The question is, what makes this feel like a special event and not just the same as any other time we gather at home?
This is where ritual comes in.
What is ritual?
Ritual is created by mindful, thoughtful actions and artefacts designed to create a sensory experience:
Words - the words we say, personal vows, legal declarations
Actions - the way we walk into a space purposefully; where and how we stand and sit; the simple action of one person standing reading from a script changes the dynamic
Sound - music, silence, chimes and bells
Scents - incense, scented candles, flowers
Sights - light from heart candles in the dark hallway; candles flickering by the fire; a burst of colour from flowers; petals
Artefacts - a blotter, heart shaped paper weight, special pen, a single rose; the couple’s rings.
The average wedding in Scotland currently costs £30,000. I feel pretty sure there are better things you can do in the world with some of that spend. So before you find yourself driven down a route, booking a huge venue, drawing up a huge invitation list, at least allow yourself to ask a couple simple questions:
what do we want for our ceremony
what matters to us
who do we want there and why
Remember, it’s not about showing off your wealth and it’s certainly not about getting into debt. It’s about doing something to mark a shift in your life. Honour it with a little thought.
